Riding Away

Well, like Synth, I sold my car a few days ago. It was an exercise that opened a flood gate of thoughts and memories. I thought it would be adventurous to try and get around town on only my bicycle (that and my student loans are beginning to rear their ugly heads). I commute to work about 45 minutes each way and it has worked out to just ride my bike to the bus stop and take the communter bus. Besides how to get around and navigate a bus schedule, selling my car has forced me to think about the past a bit. I thought about all the trips and interesting places the car has taken me and about all the winter storms the car faithfully helped me travel home in. I thought about my dog Teddy, for whom I mostly bought the car. I thought about struggling to make payments on the car during and after graduate school and how secure I naivley felt I was four years ago when I bought it.

Last year I moved to Santa Fe from Seattle to start a new life. I was going through a divorce, trying to finish my master's degree and was offered a job in New Mexico. Ironically, I lost my dog in the divorce but got the car (and Daisy, the cat). I would have 1000 times over rather have kept Teddy than the car but I guess that's the way life goes sometimes. I think getting rid of the car symbolized an act of moving on and unburdening myself. Funny how something as simple as selling a car can make a person reflect. It forced me to think about things I've tried to keep way down inside me.

Learning to ride a motorcycle and riding with the women in the MotoFemina project has been the culmination of a dream of mine. Nearly every spring for the last six years I've found myself visiting showrooms and sitting on bikes and knowing that when I finished school I would be able to save money to buy one. The freedom and independence that I've felt from motorcycling is so thematic in my life right now. My new life in Santa Fe has given me the opportunity to be really alone for the first time in my life. The friends I've made and the experiences I've had since moving to Santa Fe have become part of new memories I'm making. I feel like I'm becoming part of a community in a town that can otherwise sometimes be very solitary.

Before I moved to Santa Fe I used to write and sing music a bit. For the first time since my divorce I was able to sit down and write a song the other night. It's rough for sure, but I'm just excited about the fact that I could actually put pen to paper and create something again. I can finally express feelings I've experienced the last year and a half and move on from them. I wanted to share it here with the MotoFemina folks because it has a bit to do with my experience here and with this project. To all I've crossed paths with here in Santa Fe, thanks for the advice and inspiration (and help) to create a new life for myself out here in the Southwest.